We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
