apparently the secret to your success is patron
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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