We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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