The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
