I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
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