wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
