I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
how do you play pong handcuffed?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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