she takes plan B like it's going out of style
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
