I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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