I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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