Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
