I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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