just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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