You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
