"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
