and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
