You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
