Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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