i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
