dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
