Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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