You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize