She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
