Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
