Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
