Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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