no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
