a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
