i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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