i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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