dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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