i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
