Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
worst night to have a conscience
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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