Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
