btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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