Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
vagina is talking i cant
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
