Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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