dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
