is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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