Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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