I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
