dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
