he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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