Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
