omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
