some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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