Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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