he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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