once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
