You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
