that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
