even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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